Thursday Tippity Tip: Disabling Enabling
Welcome back Thursday Tippity Tips! It’s been a while.
Enabling is something I have struggled with most of my life. As a people pleaser by nature, enabling made me feel important…wanted by others (others outside of my family and close friends).
Enabling led me to being willing to give up things that were important to me to “help” another person but, all I was doing was losing myself and crippling them. During the enabling process I allowed what they thought of me to be the way I began to see myself which would drive me to enable more and so the vicious cycle would go on.
In my heart of hearts, I really did want the person(s) to overcome, and that part was right and true but where encouragement and loyalty errored into enabling is when I would take upon myself the holy work that only God can do.
Here are my top two go-to solutions for disabling enabling:
1. When you begin to feel less than, invisible, or not enough for example, speak the truth of what God says about you instead of marinating your heart in the lies. Tell yourself “I am more than a conqueror through Jesus who loves me. I am fully known and loved by the Creator”
2. When you feel the urge to enable (old habits die hard) rewrite a new and healthy narrative by reminding yourself you are hurting you AND the other person. Tell yourself “To enable _____________ is to perpetuate a problem, carry something I wasn’t meant to fix and keep the other person from experiencing real change and growth
In even shorter terms, resist, rewrite, repeat.
Resist – Resist the urge to enable
Rewrite – Rewrite a new, correct narrative and then purposefully live it out
Repeat – Repeat the above two steps as many times as needed
TTT posts are reserved exclusively for relationship tidbits in the form of a short post or a power thought meant to challenge or encourage or both. Enjoy 😊
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