Thursday Tippity Tip: 6 Relationship Myths Busted
Hope these questions and thoughts really get you thinking and evaluating how you approach your relationships and/or how you can encourage someone you know to approach theirs with a better mind set. :)
You bring 50% to a relationship - No! You bring 100% and they should bring 100%. You are a whole person committing to bring your whole self to the relationship. Knowing this, how can you begin bringing 100% of yourself to a relationship?
You have to give up yourself - If a relationship takes two people, what happens when one decides not to be an individual anymore? Granted a person can decide to defer and prefer someone else in a particular case but thinking you have to give up yourself like you are a sacrifice to them is sending the message "I don't matter and I have nothing of value to bring to the relationship except what value you deem to worthy to give me". What special qualities do you bring to the relationship? How does this relationship add to your life and theirs?
You have to give a person a physical "test drive" before deciding to be serious with them - So now we test drive people like cars to see if they perform to our standards? When did love become conditional?It begs the question of what reasons are you are interested in dating or marrying them in the first place? The physical or their character? What does the "test drive" choice say about what you value most?
Men are from Mars & Women from Venus - Um, no. Both are from earth and both have the capability to understand one another, we just aren't all trained properly to know how to do this. What can you do to learn to speak your significant other's language? What's one or two things you know makes them tick? What's one thing you can do today to start making them feel more understood by you?
No spark = no possibility for love - If that were the case hot embers would never start a fire but they do all the time. Some people can have an inexplainable connection, that "spark", but most just have an initial mutual attraction that builds into love. When the going gets tough and you have only one chance to rekindle the flame would you want one shot with a spark or a pile of hot embers? How about this perspective, hot embers give the opportunity for a spark to happen time and again whereas an initial spark with no other additional way to keep growing into a flame will have the shelf life of a banana. Look around you, who have you written off that might be everything you have waited for? Who can you envision building a pile of hot embers with that will start and keep a flame of love glowing and growing?
Passion is equivalent with love - Well if that were true it would automatically disqualify at least 50% of relationships. Passion is a byproduct of love, not love itself. Passion is a neurological connection you build from constant habitual thoughts of love, gratitude, goodwill, and desire toward your significant other. Passion can come quickly or slowly and for some, they are simply happy with practical and passion is not the pinnacle of their relationship. What can you do to build passion? How are you building that neurological connection in your heart and mind?
Thank you for taking the time to read this post as I know you have lots of choices. Please subscribe so you don't miss out on future blog posts. :) Thank you in advance if you do!
