Alone Yet Not Alone (Part 2 of My Story)

My journey of healing started late 2018 and let me tell you, I had no idea just how much support and prayer I was going to need as part of that journey.

But God did.

I mean I knew there would be those that disagreed with me but what really took me off guard were the attacks from some I thought were my friends, the complete hands off silence from others who saw the truth and yet still blamed me because I fled the emotional and spiritual abuse.

I'm still not sure which is worse. A total tongue lashing, seething with hate, or just silence by those who know the truth and still choose to side with the abuser.

But that is not what this post is about.

I want to take this time to share some of the ways God proved his faithfulness over and over.

God provided a Christian counselor through the generous gifting of my mom. My counselor was able to exponentially jump start the healing process and get me started on a good path toward true healing and restoration.

God gave me over a year to emotionally "detox". As things would come up he gave me the opportunity to learn, grow, forgive (even if it was to just forgive myself), and ultimately heal from so much.

God gave me the blessing of a mother who gave up her life (still is!) to live with me and be one of my most faithful advocates and a support to myself and my daughters.

When I was at a loss of what to do with my stuff until I was able to move, God spoke to me in a dream of when that needed to happen. On those dates we packed up and everything fell into place. The day we had to actually move my stuff to storage God gave my mom energy to pack a 7x16 trailer all.by.her.62.year.old.self while I finished my coaching class. Then he provided help to drive it to storage and unload everything.

God provided a church and pastor that shepherded us through some difficult dark times and gave my girls and I a safe place to heal and become a part of something again.

God provided a way for me to pay for everything at the time and then fully pay back the I-Owe-You. He knew that crushing weight of trying to pay for court fees and other things was too much for me to bear at that time.

God provided safe and amazing sitters when I had to go to court who gave of their time and resources so generously which gave me the permission to focus my full concentration where it needed to be.

God made sure what the judges ruled was all used for good. Granted it didn't always initially feel that way but I see now how God worked his goodness in it all.

God allowed relationships to end that were not true friendships (a painful stripping away process) but he also reinforced relationships that became structures of hope when I felt so alone

God brought 4 different women strangers across my path who spoke his truth over me just when I needed it. And how, you may ask, did I know it was from God? Because each women spoke something different BUT it always went right along with what God was showing me at the time.

God provided a realtor who was willing and able to go the extra miles (and there were ALOT of extra miles) to help us find a home. She was so patient and generous.

God also laid on my heart the specific town he was leading us toward for a home. But after weeks of searching, several failed offers and general disheartening issues, we had given up. In fact, the last day we had looked for homes before I left on a trip, we had driven the 1hr and 30min to our hotel thinking it was hopeless. Then our realtor called to say she thought there were several homes worth returning and looking at...THAT day. So we literally turned around and drove back up. We accidentally drove to the second house first but when we saw it we both knew we had finally arrived. It ticked off every major thing on our wish and need lists. We went and saw the other house but settled on the first one we saw because...well I just knew it was the one meant for us.

I could continue but here is what I really want to leave you with.

You may feel alone but you aren't because God is a faithful friend who promised to never leave or forsake you. You may feel so broken that you can't believe you will ever be whole again but I promise you, God can and does restore. You may feel lost with no idea where to even begin but God will show you step by step if you let Him and keep praying for his wisdom, protection and guidance. You may feel so hurt by people you shut everyone out, but for every one yucky person you are shutting out there are many more loving people who desire to bring hope, encouragement and joy to your life and they are worth letting in. Actually it is imperative they be let in.

How can I be so sure? I can say the encouragement above with confidence because I have been the recipient of all those things. If I could take you by the hands and look straight into your eyes I would speak that truth to you personally because if you are anything like me, you have to keep being reminded of those truths until they are written on your very soul and are unshakable beliefs you can stand on.

I pray you see God work in your circumstances this week and please remember, you are not alone!

Please feel free to email me your questions or to share your own story with me at ordinarygirl1extraordinarygod@gmail.com

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