My Story
Here I am writing this post 3 weeks later than I wanted BUT just on time when it comes to God's timing. He knew I needed those few weeks to really formulate the thoughts of of my heart into words worth reading.
My name is Erin and I am a survivor of emotional abuse.
Six years ago I started a journey that I thought would get sweeter with time and last until I died. What I wasn't prepared for was the entangling web of emotional abuse that haunted most of that journey. The journey in which I found myself was filled with more valleys, tears, challenges, and painful growth than I have ever known. Along the journey two precious baby girls joined me. I was not a big enough reason to find a way out but a little after my second was born, I saw my daughters begin being pulled down into the same twisted web and I was struck with such clarity. It was then that I finally found enough courage to listen to God and follow his leading. At first I didn't want to because it required leaping into the great unknown and trusting that God would catch us. It ended in a way I never wanted or imagined. In fact, the journey that was supposed to last a lifetime went over a cliff so to speak and shattered some of my most treasured dreams and deepest desires with it, but God made sure the girls and I landed across the chasm to continue a new journey.
At first I didn't want to because it required leaping into the great unknown and trusting that God would catch us.
Erin Patton
New years eve of 2018 my heart began to beat again for I knew God had promised me that 2019 would be a year of new hope and new beginnings in my life and the lives of my daughters. So imagine the heart crushing blow when that promised hope felt deferred again and again throughout the year and especially as 2020 came closer, and...nothing...nothing looked at all like new hope. I began to think God meant it was to be the year of no hope and I had simply miss heard him.
But God was there all along. I look back now and see how he used all for good. He weaved his promises for new hope and new beginnings through his grace, redemption, love and provision throughout 2019. I am here to tell you, God is good all the time. His ways are not our ways. If you are a believer, he will ask you to do things that seem to defy common Christian beliefs, but if you let him, he will show you that he has not contradicted himself but rather, revealed a part of himself and his unsearchable Godhead nature.
I began to think God meant it was to be the year of no hope and I had simply miss heard him.
Erin Patton
You see, when I stopped long enough to re-focus my fuzzy perspective, I finally saw how he had indeed birthed new hope out of no hope. God was creating a beautiful mosaic of his goodness out of my brokenness but I was so focused on the pieces I didn't see his promises taking place at first. I was doing what a pastor's words convicted my heart of, I was resenting the season God had me in because it wasn't the season I thought it should be.
God was creating a beautiful mosaic of his goodness out of my brokenness but I was so focused on the pieces I didn't see his promises taking place at first.
Erin Patton
No more! I intend to embrace this year one day at a time. God will continue to bring about his promises in His time.
Emotional abuse is a real thing but often overlooked because it leaves internal bleeding rather than physical signs. It is more subtle and therefore harder to detect. Throughout my blogging I am going to share aspects of emotional abuse I have learned so others who have gone through, or are going through emotional abuse can know they are not alone. I also want to help others use their words to bring healing versus added suffering to the emotional abuse victim. Both aspects are so important.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post! I hope it blessed you in some way. I always welcome your thoughts in the comments below! If you liked this content and other posts on my blog please take a moment to subscribe. I promise you will never be spammed. :) I post once on Sunday and once on Thursday.
