Thursday Tippity Tip: How to Have No Expectation in Love

Now I know what your are thinking

WHAT!?

No expectation in love?

Have you lost your mind?

Nope!

Just keep reading.

All of us should absolutely have standards but when it comes to love I have found it is wise to have no expectations in the sense that I can't have any hope that anyone will ever come close to loving me the way God does. Every human being I have ever known, or will ever know, has and will fail me at some point whether that is intentionally or accidentally.

God's love is like no other. It is a loved forged long before I ever took a breath or knew of His existence. It is a consistent love backed up by 1000's of years of fulfilled promises to others and to me. God's love is the ultimate standard by which I measure all other love. I mean, How do you compete with a love that left the perfection of heaven to knowingly be born into a world full of sadness, pain and suffering? How do you compete with a love that willingly did what even I would not have done for Him? How do you compete with a love that endured cruelty and betrayal without a word just so I wouldn't? How do you compete with a love that willingly walked to His death to save me? How do you compete with a love that literally went to hell and back just because he knew I could not?

The answer is, you can't!

Throughout the years of my life, I have come to rest in this profound love that is truly indescribable. A love that holds onto me no matter what; A love that says I am:

Valuable

Cherished

Redeemed

Wanted

It is a love that says I am loved whether I feel like it or not. It is a love that stays true no matter what I do. It is a love where I feel absolutely safe and free from fear of any kind. It is an unfailing love I know will find me no matter how far I wander. It is a love that says I am fully known (flaws and all) yet fully loved. It is a love that doesn't want to change me, but help me mature into the personality He gave to me! To become the person he created me to be!

Here are four ways I have come to have a healthy lack of expectation when it comes to humans and love

1. I have no expectation that they can fill me up in any way because they can't. Only God can and should do that in my life. If I am not a fulfilled healthy person in Christ before entering any relationship and have expectations that person(s) will fill any voids I have, then that is like going to a sick person and hoping they can make me healthy. Let me tell you, I have tried that stupid approach several times and every single time it failed miserably.
2. I have no expectation they can keep every promise they make because that is an unfair perfect standard to hold imperfect people to. No matter how much a person could ever love me, they are still human at the end of the day. God is the only one who can make and keep His promises to the uttermost 100% of the time. Now this does not mean I have to let myself get wounded time and again by consistently broken promises but it does mean when life happens and a promise can't be kept, I am not so devastated.
3. I have no expectation anybody will love me me back just because I choose to love them. Love is not a tit for tat thing. It is given or removed at will regardless of the other person. If I choose to love someone I do so of my own free choice and if I find that they either don't accept that love or want to abuse it, I take that as my cue to love them from a distance. As a Christian, I am called to have charity toward all men at all times (charity being a genuine care for the life of another human) but whether I love someone or not doesn't change God's love for them and if I need to remove a person from my life for my safety or sanity, God's love remains regardless of mine. Make sense?
4. I have no expectation that a person is going to know I love them simply by my words and visa versa. Unless my words are backed by deeds and truth that reconcile my words to my actions, they are right to not trust a thing I say. I can say "I love you" til my face is blue but if my life is not lived in such a way that backs those words up, I have become a liar.

I hope this post encouraged you to place your expectations, hopes, and dreams solely in the safe haven of God's love and will help you pour out that love to others in a healthier way.

Happy Valentine's Day!