Thursday Tippity Tip - Minding Your Own Plate

My kids teach me a lot! For example, did you know a plate of food can actually help build a very important healthy relationship strategy?

 I didn’t either until this conversation happened with my daughters over lunch.

“Mooooomyyyyy! My oldest daughter was preparing to tattle on her sister. You see she didn’t quite like what her little sister was doing with her plate of food and she was hoping I could help with that. She had totally forgotten her own plate.

As I came over I knew immediately what was about to transpire. Before she even got her words out I gently asked,

“Sweetie pie, what is your responsibility?”

“Well...my plate”

“Mmm hmm, and where is your plate?”

“Right here” she said pointing to the one in front of her.

“That’s right! So mind your plate of food and don’t worry about what you little sister is or isn’t doing with hers because that is her responsibility, not yours.”

Do you see the absolute GOLD in that conversation??

At first glance it might seem like a typical parent – child discussion over sibling squabbles but there is so much more to it!

They don’t comprehend it now, but those moments are going to define their future happiness and success in relationships. Right now it’s minding their own PB& J on their plate but one day it’s going to be minding their own job, or being content with what they have instead of coveting another person’s things or avoiding the pit of nagging and “mommying” their spouses or not getting entangled in stewing over the different ways their friends handle things or stressing over stuff that was never their responsibility in the first place to fix or be concerned about.

To put it another way, both my daughters are learning the habit of contentment, the boundaries of responsibility and the freedom of individual expression that make up a healthy relationship. They are learning to enjoy and appreciate the different roles people play instead of thinking they need to control and direct those roles.

So many relationships end in bitterness because one or both people aren’t minding their own plate and I don’t want that struggle for my daughters. I want to set them up for happy, successful relationships and I’m finding that strong foundation is built on ordinary conversations like the one above.

If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to think about how you have been or could be, minding your own plate. :)