Thursday Tippity Tip: 3 Ways to Create More Connected Relationships
Relationships can be complicated but they don't have to be. :) Here are 3 ways to create less complicated relationships and more connected ones!
Be honest - Sounds soooo cliche but honestly, how easy it to be honest? Being honest about which icecream flavor you like is much easier than let’s say…being honest about a hurt inflicted on you by the other person in a relationship. As a former people pleaser, let me let you in on a little secret, stuffing emotions does nothing but set a person up to burst open in raw anger and resentment when the heart is overstuffed to breaking. The mess that comes out of such a reaction is about as appealing and well recieved as an incised cyst oozing its putrid goo. That visual just made you cringe didn't it. ;) So maybe you can understand why avoiding honesty by way of turkey stuffing you feelings is disorienting to the other person and gives them an excuse to back away. They also can't read your mind and they certainly won't always be in tune with the emotions or expressions of hurt you carry. In some cases, they could totally be aware and not care! So if you are hoping (or believing) it is the other person's responsibility to read your mind and give you some Hallmark heart melting speech whenever they hurt you or there is a disagreement or conflict, boy are you in for disappointment. Remember this truth, your response is your RESPONSibility.
Have Your Say Then Let It Go - Having said all I did above, there is another side to the coin. Being honest and having your say doesn't guarantee an apologitic or care filled response from the other person. They could lash out and be unfair in their reaction but what they do doesn't change who you are or what has happened. Say your peace and then let it go into God's hand. Let me be clear, having your say doesn't mean vomiting your feelings out however it feels good to you at the time. It is however, speaking the truth in love and trusting God to bring the healing you seek.
Know Who You Are - Again cliche, but dive deep beyond the surface and consider “Who Am I? Who did God make ME to be? What has God given me to do? How does He want me to live out who I am and what He wants me to do in THIS relationship?” Being a blank slate that is waiting to be conformed to the demands or expectations of the other person in a relationship IS NOT the same as being adaptable or deferring your preferences in certain situations. God didn't make you a blank slate to be filled with different strokes from different fokes. Whatever relationships God calls you to, He called you to them because He needs who He created you to be to compliment, challenge, comfort and care for the other person.
Hope this helps makes your relationships better connected! I know it certainly has helped mine become more connected and less complicated.