Thursday Tippity Tip – 3 Concepts Ballroom Dance Is Teaching Me
As I have spun, and sometimes stumbled, around the dance floor the last six weeks, I am discovering relationship values hidden in the technique of ballroom dancing. Who would have thought stepping on toes and spinning in wrong directions could lead to such deep thought?
What does Ballroom dance have to do with relationships? Keep reading and you will find out. :)
1. Frame work – A proper frame is a fundamental MUST in ballroom dancing. How I and my partner hold our frames defines how easy it will be for him to lead and me to follow. In short, our individual frames determine how we will do as a whole. Relationships are like a dance. My framework and success of my part of the relationship is directly affected by how balanced and well structured I am as an individual. Without a solid frame from either partner a dance and a relationship are sabotaged. So what does a good relationship frame look like? It looks like knowing who I am in Christ. It looks like understanding and living out charity, kindness, selflessness, forgiveness, a willingness to listen and having a heart full of goodwill. The Bible is a rich source of examples. As I have compared relationships in the Bible to what they would look like if they were a dance, in every example the individuals frame work made the difference. Some examples include Christ and the church, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, David and Abigail, Ahasuerus and Esther, and Ruth and Boaz.
2. Point of Contact – Points of contact are specific touch points such as where or how a hand is placed. Basically it is a form of communication. These points help make following and leading a default rather than a question. I realized that just as with dance, relationships need strategically placed points of contact in order to function and flow as they should. Things like quality time, praying together, talking, laughing, dreaming of the future, and creating memories are like contact points in a dance. All those things and more sync both into the same step and rhythm. If those points are missing or nonexistent not only is a dance destined to fail, but relationships treated the same way will also dissolve. A prime example of what good point of contact looks like is in my relationship with God. Through prayer, reading the Bible, obeying His commands and even just simply enjoying His creation I have been building multiple points of contact and the more I have learned the better our dance has become.
3. Posture of the heart – When my heart is in a posture of humility and desires to listen it is so much easier to follow directions. I am learning it is possible to be so preoccupied over thinking the steps or what I need to do next week that I totally miss the gentle guidance of my partner. A preoccupied posture of the heart is as lethal to a dance as it is a relationship. If I am not engaged in dancing with them, I am dancing against them. That means in a relationship, if I’m preoccupied with my needs, wants and desires then I’m not working with the person or paying attention to their part. I now understand better why God seems to incessantly camp on the attitude of the heart. He wants me to enjoy the undistracted pleasure of His company. He wants me to know the pure joy of dancing WITH Him and He wants me to know how to do that with others. I love watching a couple who seems like they are one person divided between two bodies because that is how God designed relationships to be. The kindred joy of two individuals who, because of the posture of their hearts, know when to lead and when to follow and neither one feels the need to compromise.