The Power of Acknowledgement
There is a wonderful healing that washes over me and a situation when I have humbled myself and acknowledged my shortcomings and that same sensation happens when another becomes vulnerable and acknowledges their faults in a matter.
People bulk at apologies and claim they shouldn’t be demanded (and they shouldn’t) but is it wrong to have the expectation that until a person acknowledges their bad behavior*, they are not emotionally safe?
Over the years I have come to believe that it isn’t wrong to be emotionally wary of those who consistently break my heart and/or my trust with no acknowledgement as to their bad behavior.
But lest anyone assume I sit here pointing my fingers at others, I am going to share in this post what I have learned about the power of acknowledgement from my perspective.
Acknowledging does four things -
1. It offers healing – When a wound has been inflicted by me, (accidentally or purposefully) the only way for me to begin to correct the wrong done is to accept, acknowledge and admit that the behavior was bad and unacceptable. It is not optional to acknowledge bad behavior, but pride gives the illusion that there are multiple choices with “get out of jail free” being one of them. The doorway to healing is only opened with the key to acknowledgement. If I inflict hurt, then it is my responsibility to offer healing and it starts with acknowledging that I was wrong.
2. It brings closure – Cleaning and dressing that wound is the next step. When bad behavior is not properly addressed and no healing is offered to the very heart I have wounded, it sets that heart up to become further irritated. The once curable wound becomes a festering breading ground of nasty infection and germs (i.e. bitter thoughts, cutting words, lack of trust, a spirit of offense etc.). But when I take proactive action toward healing by acknowledging my bad behavior and great care is taken to not re-injure, there is closure; there is healing. Yes, a scar may remain, but the scar shows that where there was once hurt, healing had the last word. It is possible for me to withhold my acknowledgement and contribute nothing to the healing process BUT all that does is hurt me and further injure the other person(s). It makes their healing process longer and more complicated and no matter how much it seems that all has been made well again in their life, there is a twinge of pain that remains much like there is when shrapnel stays lodged in a body long after the initial wound is healed.
3. It builds character – It takes humility, thoughtfulness, courage, and a willingness to acknowledge bad behavior for what it is while understanding that admitting to it won’t permanently define or destroy who I am. Pride and humility can’t coexist. They are opposite choices from one another. One corrupts character the other creates it. I can choose to build character and preserve relationships, or I can choose to do the opposite. It doesn’t matter if the other person accepts my acknowledgement with humble grace or victorious glee. Their responses don’t build my character; the choice to do what is right and acknowledge my bad behavior before God and the person I have wronged does. If they receive it, great! If they snatch it up with a haughty attitude, then so be it because their rejection of healing doesn’t stop me from procuring it for myself.
4. It promotes an atmosphere of security – When my bad behavior is acknowledged, it lets the person I hurt know that even though there was a moment of human error and selfishness, the true desire and pursuit of my heart toward them is peace, love and genuine care. It lets them know their forgiveness and grace is not something taken for granted and demanded but rather something humbly sought so that a secure relationship can continue to be built. There is a safety in knowing that their best, not my pride, is my end goal even if I stumble along the way.
As you can see, acknowledging promotes the things that are good, lovely, righteous and life giving in relationships. It helps keep my heart in an attitude and posture of humility before God and doesn’t allow yuckiness to take root. Acknowledging may not feel the best in the moment but it is the best choice for a lifetime.
If you struggle with acknowledging bad behavior don’t let that become an excuse!! Just take a deep breath and take the first step toward healing. It will be scary and you may feel like you are going to shattered but that is Satan trying to keep you from growing in grace, walking in love and experiencing what freedom from bondage to bad behavior tastes like.
*Bad behavior defined – Bad behavior is any behavior that purposefully seeks to emotionally, verbally or physically hurt another person to protect self or to get even for a perceived or actual hurt. Bad behavior is the fruit of selfishness, pride, a spirit of offense, and a desire to control and humble someone. Bad behavior can be a weak moment or a consistent choice but either way it is never okay and should never be excused as an acceptable course of action.
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