What If We Are Honest?

I remember the picture distinctly...It was in a large gold frame and the picture within was a mixture of subtle silver and rose gold watercolors. Every soft line shaped a beautiful girl with silvery curls removing a mask from her face. Her expression was a shadowy echo of the tearful mask. Nestled at the very bottom of the picture was a haunting question in faint scrawl. It was so faint that it would easily go unnoticed by a casual glance but could be seen by those who took the time to look. It asked,"Do we become the mask we wear?"I always love that painting. Through the years, there were many times I stood for extended lengths of time in front of that frame pondering that question which inevitably lead to questions of my own."Why do we wear masks?""Can we wear multiple masks?""Is it easier or harder to wear a mask?""What happens if our mask is taken away and we are exposed?"Speaking from my own experience, wearing a mask was easier to do sometimes than being honest because honesty required vulnerability and vulnerability required exposure to possible rejection, questions, and judgment. But it is also important to note that honesty also opened up my heart to the possibility of acceptance, understanding, and love. But my pain kept me from seeing those possibilities. So I hid.Wearing a mask comes off sounding  disingenuous because in truth it is, even though that was not the intention of my heart. Sometimes people wear masks to intentionally deceive, but most of the time, masks are worn out of self-preservation, not out of trying to be shallow or purposefully deceptive.I know another reason that I had worn a mask was because I so desperately wanted to believe the illusion I was giving to other people. Why? Because it was what I wanted things to be, not what was and I thought that if I wore the mask long enough then I would eventually become the carefully designed mask. I needed the illusion because reality was too painful. So I hid.But over time I began to despise the mask. It wasn't because I didn't become the mask I wore but because I did!Yes it was less painful to have the mask rejected or loved but I got tired of me...just me, never being known. I was tired of hiding the painIt took me becoming the mask I wore to realize I had almost lost myself in the process.But God was never fooled by my mask. He saw me as I was all along. Hurting, tired, afraid, desperate for hope. But he loved me anyway. All along he wanted me to put my mask down and just be the person he created me to be. He had made me to shine not to be hidden but I was afraid. When I finally let my mask go I found such love from God and the pain I was hiding finally got dealt with and healed.So what prompted me to wear a mask in the first place? What events took place to inspire such a chain of events?Hurt. Being hurt by a person I let in and should have been able to trust but instead was betrayed by in a slow downward spiral. Like a frog being boiled I didn't realize I was slowly dying from the slow seeping wounds inflicted upon my heart.Why didn't I say anything?Because I couldn't let people see my hurt because then...well I said the reasons above. It would require vulnerability. A chance I had taken and was not willing to take again. So I wore a mask and hid.But no longer! I am declaring I no longer wear a mask. Francesca Battistelli was right in her song "If We're Honest" when she said "bring your brokenness and I'll bring mine because love can heal where hurt divides".Have you let the hurt someone did to you cause you to hide behind a mask?Have you let that hurt hidden behind a mask cause a division between truth and lies? Fellowship and isolation?Do you look in the mirror with no recognition of the reflection you see?Are you wearing a mask to cover your pain?I gently plead with you to remove the mask and just be known because it is better to face life being known and possibly disliked for who you are than your facade being loved and losing the amazing person God designed and destined you to be in the first place.God sees you.He knows you.He loves you as you are, where you are.You are absolutely safe with him.He made you to shine not to hide.Nothing is hidden from him and just like I tell my girls before they go to sleep, God loves you and he will never let you down.There are no pretenses needed with him.I can give you this comfort because I have been personally and deeply comforted with the comfort wherewith I am comforting you.So when you are tempted to wear a mask (and yes, I am still tempted to sometimes pick up a mask) I ask, what if instead we are honest? What if instead of hiding our pain we choose vulnerability by opening up to a safe person who will hear and love? There is a freedom in doing so.Will you join me in being honest?I hope you do!❤❤❤❤