Confession: Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't a Mommy
My kids are precious and priceless to me. I love and cherish them!! But honestly, some days I wish I wasn't a Mommy. Yes...I just admitted that...when I've had a long day of hearing "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" from my oldest girl because she's tired and only wants, well you guessed it, Mommy! 😉 or "waah, waah, waah waah" from my youngest girl any time I dare to lay her down after feeding and rocking her to sleep (and holding her for 30min after she closes her eyes in the hopes she goes to sleep), I wish I wasn't so needed. When I am scrubbing poo off the hands of my girl...and potty seat...and floor...because she tried to wipe herself (since she believes herself to be a fully capable big girl) while I was trying to change baby sister I wish they were someone else's kids because then I wouldn't be responsible for having to clean up the frustrating mess. When I'm driving somewhere and all I hear is screeching in the background from my unhappy baby girl because she dislikes the car seat and ever-growing louder annoyed squeals from big sister, I wish for my single days when a car trip was a quiet sanctuary for my thinking time instead of an echoing cavern of baby cries. There are times I wish I could put a return stamp on my kids and return them to Sender as it were when I am so tired and just need some sleep but they have decided sleep is overrated and that they won't nap at the same time. But the moment those thoughts cross my mind I immediately revoke them because no matter how many annoying, inconvenient, frustrating, and emotionally draining incidents that have happened since becoming a mommy of two precious girls, every minute I have with them is priceless and I would never want to give them up!! They truly are heaven-sent blessings and I learn so much from them everyday. Their innocence blesses me; their curiosity inspires me; their creativity keeps me on my toes; their dependence and yet drive for independence pushes me to learn how to protect them yet train them to one day fly solo; their laughter brings joy; their unique personalities challenge me; their resilience and readiness to forgive and trust gives me room to get up and try again when I have failed them and feel so inadequite as a parent; and their copying of my actions always gives me an accurate picture of attitudes and behaviors I want to keep and other habits I want to break ASAP.So even though I have moments where I wish "Mommy" wasn't my title, I'm truly honored and humbled to be one and know that it is a life changing role not everyone gets an opportunity to fullfil. It is the hardest challenge of my life but I am most grateful beyond words for the one-of-a-kind gifts God has entrusted to me.
