Thursday Tippity Tip - How to Become a Pharisee in 6 easy steps

1. **Twist the word of God to fit personal agenda (John 8:13-18) - Take verses out of context and make sure to use your creative abilities to embellish the Bible to sound just the way you want. The more consistent and better you get at this the less your conscience will bother you until pretty soon you won't have one at all to worry about.
2. Launch Personal attacks against the tellers of God's truth (John 8:39-41) - Be sure to hunt down and flaunt every speck of dirt in the life of whoever is telling the truth. Capitalize on anything and everything that could be easily misconstrued. Don't worry about people seeing through the attacks. Most people are more comfortable assuming, and too lazy to care about fact checking because it isn't their character being attacked. Personal attacks are a great way to erode relationships quickly which is why it is important you practice this one very diligently.
3. Mock others while demonstrating a sense of spiritual elitism (John 8:21-30) - Now, you have to be careful with this one lest people think you are coming off a little snobby. Be sure to keep a sugary sweet tone to your voice and periodically tack on "I'm just kidding" or a "bless your heart" kind of laugh so that people never quite catch on to the fact that you are snubbing them. That way there is always plausible deniability that you can use to your advantage if ever anyone dares to question your motives. Of course if you want to be bold about it then be sure to follow step 4 very closely.
4. Deny reality of personal sin and feign a false persona of self righteousness (John 8:31-36) - To be the most righteous and spotless person in the room you must learn to effectively point a finger and magnify others flaws. This can be done if you have expertly hidden any tiny, possible little faux pas that might be mistaken for actual mistakes that you made, because of course those aren't really your mistakes, they are the fault of the person who 'made you do it.' This step should be no problem if you have been faithfully practicing the first step.
5. Value your sacred religious traditions above a fresh and current movement of God (John 8:37-47) - Make sure you have all the Biblical laws personalized and memorized just the way you like them with several modified verses always on hand in case you need to twist those laws a little bit to get what you need at the time. This helps smooth out any possible resistance to whatever you desire to keep or adjust so that nothing changes that you don't want to change.
6. Demonize, insult and seek to kill the challenger of the status quo and any fresh movement of God (John 8:48-59) - It is essential to make sure everyone around you is well trained in understanding your expectation of what the status quo is. I mean, why change what is beneficial for you? If someone tries to talk about or encourage a fresh movement of God then you must be swift and brutal in your counter attack lest anyone else should revolt with them. It is much better for everyone (especially yourself) if you deal harshly with one and make them a public example then possibly have to punish an entire group of people.

If you do all 6 steps above then you will be successful Pharisee!

Now of course this post is satirical and most will take it that way BUT don't let the satire keep you from realizing that the Pharisee attitude is still very much alive today. The tippity tip here is to be sure to keep short accounts and for God to convict us if ever we start slipping down that slick Pharisee slope.

Next Thursday I will share 6 ways to combat the Pharisee response! Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any new posts. I post Thursdays and Sundays!

**The points in bold in this post are based off a sermon in John 8:12-59. The sermon was taught by my pastor, Joel Dover, of Calvary Chapel Newnan, GA and you can find that sermon on the website Calvarynewnan.org. It is a great sermon worth listening to. All the other added thoughts were my own.